- Miss Piggy: Yes. I just love your eyes. Ohh. They're like... like... two ping-pong balls floating in a pond of green algae.
- Kermit the Frog: Must be true. Everybody says the same thing.
- Louis Kazagger: Somehow MacGregor has gotten hold of a live bagpipe, one of the deadliest creatures known to man! Wait! This is incredible. MacGregor seems to be getting the upper hand! Yes, it's true, and here it is! A genuine highland fling!
- Louis Kazagger: Welcome again to the wild world of Muppet Sports. Louis Kazagger here in Glasgow, Scotland, where Angus MacGregor is about to attempt to break the world record for bagpipe eating.
- Anne Murray: Uh, can I get on with my song now?
- Dodo: Yeah, but you'd better sing fast. The bulldozers are coming.
- Kermit the Frog: Yes. I just love your eyes. Ohh. They're like... like... two ping-pong balls floating in a pond of green algae.
- Additional Muppets: Must be true. Everybody says the same thing.