Robert Bathurst: Prime Minister

Quotes 

• Dillon Phillips : I was just wondering if you believe in ghosts, Dad.

  Prime Minister : Absolutely, yeah. Yes, the previous Prime Minister comes back to haunt me all the time.

  Dillon Phillips : Is he dead?

  Prime Minister : No, sadly. More like undead.

  Dillon Phillips : I mean a real ghost.

  Prime Minister : No. I don't have time for ghosts, Dillon. No, they don't have votes. It's one of the conditions of being on the electoral roll. You can't be dead.

• Dillon Phillips : Mom said it was OK to bring a friend down for the weekend.

  Prime Minister : Yeah, fine. Anyone I know?

  Dillon Phillips : Uhhh, it's Flash.

  Prime Minister : Flash? But you hate Flash. Why are you inviting someone to stay with us whom you can't stand?

  Dillon Phillips : Isn't that what you're doing?

  [the PM will be hosting the Belgian Prime Minister for the weekend] 

  Prime Minister : True. But this is diplomacy, Dillon. Continuation of war by other means.

  Dillon Phillips : Same here.

  Prime Minister : Yeah, all right, he can stay, as long as you behave yourself.

  Dillon Phillips : What do you mean?

  Prime Minister : Well, I don't think, for example, that the Belgian Prime Minister needs to know that you can burp 'God Save the Queen'.

• [the Prime Minister is losing at tennis with his Belgian counterpart, so he suddenly claims a hamstring injury] 

  Prime Minister : I'm sorry... we're going to have to abandon. A shame, just as we were getting back into it. Sorry. Darling, can you give me a hand? I'm a bit lame.

  Clare Phillips : [sarcastically]  You said it.

  [later the PM is reviewing the day with his aide/spin doctor] 

  Prime Minister : So tell me honestly, how did I do?

  Duncan Packer : You were massacred.

  Prime Minister : OK, lie.

  Duncan Packer : You deliberately let him win as a matter of courtesy, since you're the host; however, yours was the tactical triumph because, since you lost so badly, he now feels sorry for you, which could mean that he lets you off the trade tariffs.

  Prime Minister : Good point. He was so desperate to win, it was almost sad. Typical Continental.

  Duncan Packer : Whereas you, and your racquet abuse, swearing at the ball boys, and faked injury displayed all the qualities of sportsmanship and fair play that makes one proud to be British.

  Prime Minister : I thought I told you to lie.