My Family (TV Series)

'Tis Pity She's a Whore (2001)

Avril Elgar: Rebecca

Photos 

Quotes 

• Janey Harper : Great-grandma was a tart?

  Rebecca : Good heavens, no. She was a *prostitute*.

• Rebecca : It was nice to see Janey, but I think she was looking a little gaunt.

  Susan Harper : Oh, I wouldn't worry; it's probably just the heroin. Very much like Michael. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in weeks. But you know us progressive parents - we just like to see how things pan out.

  Rebecca : Why can't you just answer a civilized question?

  Susan Harper : I will when you ask me one.

• Janey Harper : Are you sure vodka Martinis are a good thing to be drinking in your condition?

  Rebecca : A Martini is a good thing in any condition.

• Rebecca : Now tell me, how is young Michael?

  Janey Harper : Oh, fine.

  Rebecca : And how is the idiot?

  Janey Harper : Ugh. Nick's fine too.

  Rebecca : No, I mean your father.

• Susan Harper : Well?

  Rebecca : [Pretending she hasn't seen Susan]  Who is it? Who spoke? I'm afraid my eyesight isn't what it was!

  Susan Harper : Oh, stop it! You know it's me!

  Rebecca : Oh, an intruder! My purse is on the kitchen table! Take what you want, but please don't hurt me!

  Susan Harper : Good enough for me!

  Rebecca : Susan!

  Susan Harper : Oh, so now your eyesight's getting better?

• Rebecca : I just wanted to say since you are here, why don't you sit down?

  Susan Harper : No, thank you!

  Rebecca : Please, just sit down!

  Susan Harper : Nope!

  Rebecca : In other words, you won't sit down simply because I've told you to.

  Susan Harper : If I sit down, that means you win.

  Rebecca : Oh, Susan! You're not still playing that game! You're not a teenager anymore!

  [Susan reluctantly sits down] 

  Rebecca : I win!

• Susan Harper : Why did you tell Janey about grandma?

  Rebecca : I thought you believed in being honest with your children. Progressive parenting and all that.

  Susan Harper : Oh, give it a rest!

  Rebecca : Well, you never ask my advice about anything.

  Susan Harper : I don't have to! You give it anyway!

  Rebecca : Martini?

  Susan Harper : Thank you.

  Rebecca : You drink too much!

• Rebecca : How is the idiot?

  Susan Harper : If you're referring to my eldest son, Nick, he's doing very well and we're very proud of him.

  [Knocks back her Martini quickly in disgust] 

  Rebecca : There isn't enough drink in the world, dear!

• Nick Harper : Alright, gran?

  Rebecca : Oh, God!

  Nick Harper : Mum said you're lonely, so I'm all yours for the evening!

  Rebecca : Please, no!

  Nick Harper : [Juggles a porcelain urn]  Wow! Oh, yeah, and she had a message for you! What was it? Erm... Can't remember... Erm... Oh, yeah! That was it: 'She wins!'