Gabriel Thomson: Michael Harper

Quotes 

• Ben : I've got a little problem. Just a *tiny* disparity between how much I spent on your mother's Christmas present and how much she spent on mine.

  Michael : How tiny?

  Ben : [hesitantly]  £1,197.53.

• Ben : What can I get your mother? I mean, you talk to her.

  Michael : How about an Xbox?

  Ben : Nope. She doesn't get off on those movies. God knows I've tried.

  Michael : That's the kind of thought you should keep inside your head.

• Ben : Come on. What does your mother want?

  Michael : Well...

  Ben : And don't say her freedom.

  Michael : Oh. Well, in that case, I've got nothing.

• Michael : How's it going? How are you finding us?

  Alfie : Yeah. Your family are very nice.

  Michael : Give it time.

• Alfie : You must be Michael.

  [comes over to hug him, but Michael stops him] 

  Michael : Whoa! In this family, we do not display signs of affection... or affection.