Zoë Wanamaker: Susan Harper

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Michael breaks the living room window with a bazooka] 

  Susan : What the hell was that?

  Michael : Um, if I said it was nothing, would you believe me?

  Susan : Michael!

  Michael : All right, it was for my science project... on organic foods.

  Susan : [spacing each word]  You fired a rocket through a window?

  Michael : Come on, Mum. Do you think I'm so stupid I'd launch a rocket through our living room window? It was a sausage.

  Susan : Michael, you could have killed someone!

  Michael : It was an organic sausage.

  Susan : That's it. You're grounded until further notice.

  Michael : Grounded?

  Susan : Michael, you could've taken someone's eye out.

  Michael : Don't be silly, it exploded before it hit anything.

  Susan : [Thinks]  Did Nick put you up to this?

  Michael : Actually, we had been planning to start up our own high-speed food delivery service.

  [Abi runs into the house] 

  Abi : You're not gonna believe this! I was getting off the bus, when it started raining sausage! I have prayed for this day.

  Michael : See? Our first satisfied customer.

• Susan : Give it up, Ben. I'm a chess player, and I'm thinking three moves ahead of you.

  Ben Harper : I'm playing Scrabble.

• Susan : What are you gonna do with that?

  Nick : [Holding a hammer]  Break into my piggy bank.

  Susan : How conventional. From you, I'd have expected a ski mask and a getaway car.

• [last lines] 

  Susan : Coffee?

  [timer dings] 

  Ben : Ha, did you hear that? A bell. Know what that means?

  Abi : [calls from the kitchen]  Porridge is ready!

  Susan : Why don't you go back to bed? I'll bring your coffee up.

  Ben : No. It'll be my pleasure.

  Susan : You have been in a good mood these past few days.

  Ben : Hm, something's changed. And I don't know what it is.

  [Ben and Susan exit] 

  Nick : [Nick bursts through the floor with Pamela]  We're in!