My Family (TV Series)

The Great Escape (2003)

Gabriel Thomson: Michael Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ben : Mikey, does your mother know you're here?

  Michael : Does my mother know *you're* here?

  Ben : [pause]  OK, let's start again.

  Michael : I didn't want to bring my date home and have mum offer us biscuits and condoms. Why are you here?

  Ben : Because it's the last place she'd think to find me.

• Susan : How's Gran doing?

  Michael : I think she's getting better. She hit Abi and she called me virgin boy.

• Susan : You know, one day, mummy and daddy will be old.

  Michael : Hmm, you're already old.

  Susan : I mean older.

  Michael : How much older can you get?

  Susan : The point is there may come a time when I need to be taken care of by my children, and I just want you to be prepared to accept your responsibilities.

  Michael : You mean switch off the machine.

• Michael : Nick, I gave you money for a film.

  Nick : I know. I rented Stuart Little 2. I love that talking mouse.

  Michael : I meant go to a film.

• Abi Harper : I can't take much more of this! All this negative energy is stressing me out - and Ben's not even in the house!

  Michael : I know how to relieve that stress: a massage.

  Abi Harper : Get away from me!

  Michael : OK, look, I'm not interested in you. I've got a date with Fiona later. I'm really trying to help. See, a massage is all about pressure points, releasing all that toxic energy and helping you reach your inner peace.

  Abi Harper : Well, that sounds OK.

  Michael : Of course, you'll have to be naked.

  Abi Harper : Forget it! You're not going anywhere near my inner peace!