My Family (TV Series)
The Mouthtrap (2004)
Robert Lindsay: Ben Harper
Quotes
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Roger Bailey : Hellooooo!
Ben Harper : Hellooooo... to you too!
Roger Bailey : Ben, you seem happy. Are you feeling alright?
Ben Harper : I'm just dandy! I'm with my favourite kind of patient: a semi-conscious one!
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Ben Harper : What a patient tells a dentist is strictly confidential. Especially if he's rich and has lousy teeth.
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Michael Harper : [On the phone to his girlfriend] Yeah? Yeah? Oh, I think you're sexy too. Oh, I think you look good in that. You got any photos?
Ben Harper : Who is that?
Michael Harper : [pause] It's my physics teacher.
Ben Harper : Is that something I should be worried about?
Michael Harper : No.
Ben Harper : OK. Good. See you tonight.
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Ben Harper : Ah, Mikey! There you are!
Michael Harper : It's late. Cut to the chase.
Ben Harper : OK, it's your mum.
Michael Harper : It's your wife!
Ben Harper : Look, Mikey, it's 2.30am! She out there looking for more evidence! You've got to help me!
Michael Harper : You started all this with the Morse box set.
Ben Harper : I didn't think she'd get this obsessed! God! Next time, I'll get her a set of Emmanuelle DVDs!
Michael Harper : You do need help!
Ben Harper : Michael, you've got to talk to her about... girls.
Michael Harper : What girls?
Ben Harper : Any girls! Just girls! Just... you know... get her obsessing about your love life like a normal Susan!
Michael Harper : Sorry, dad. I'd love to help, but she doesn't seem interested any more!
Ben Harper : Well, make her interested! Tell her about your new girlfriend.
Michael Harper : What? Like she's a sexy international supermodel?
Ben Harper : Something she'd believe, OK?
Michael Harper : Tough one.
Ben Harper : How tough?
Michael Harper : £50?
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Susan Harper : [Shocked after seeing Michael dating a supermodel] Ben! Michael's dating a supermodel!
Ben Harper : Yeah, yeah... Here we go again...