Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Lost Continent (1990)

Joel Hodgson: Joel Robinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joel : That was the nineteen-fifty-one classic "Lost Continent". Interestingly enough, EP Robert Lippert found that he could extend the length of his film by adding meaningless, poorly contrived and blocked walking sequences, or in the case of today's film, mind-numbingly excessive mountain-climbing scenes. He called the device "padding" and as you know, padding has become a staple of movies ever since. Now this.

  Tom Servo : Cesar Romero, whom many of you will recognize from the "Batman" TV series of the late sixties, and who was thought to be a spy, was originally to play the role that eventually went to Hugh Beaumont. Director Sam Newfield said, "Cesar just isn't bland enough." We'll be right back.

  Crow T. Robot : Uh, Director Newfeld, known nazi spy, cocaine fiend, and pyromaniac, used to amuse the cast and crew by doing terrible things to his dog with a fork. Uh, we'll be right back.

• [Upon seeing the title of "Lost Continent"] 

  Joel : "Lost Continent"? Well, I lost my keys before, but this is ridiculous.

• Joel : He climbed through to the ionosphere! Is that legal?

• Hugh Beaumont : Hello boys.

  Joel : Hugh Beaumont?

  Hugh Beaumont : Oh come on, call me 'Dad'.

  Joel : Gee sir, I mean Dad, what are you doing here?

  Hugh Beaumont : Well you see boys, I'm one of the four horsemen of the apoclalyse and I come bearing a message of unholy death.

  Joel : Huh?

  Hugh Beaumont : That's right, I'm really going to give you the business, destroy you, your world, and all that you know. But first, a stern talking-to. You know, you shouldn't be so hard on that movie. A lot of people worked quite hard to bring that movie to you.

  Crow T. Robot : Gee, I guess we shouldn't be so quick to judge others then, huh.

  Hugh Beaumont : That's right, Crow.

  Crow T. Robot : He bought it, what a jerk!

• Joel : This is only for conversation, but if you were to eat a human body, where would you start?

• Joel : Who are you? Where are we? Can we get a frame of reference or something, *please*?

• Joel : Remember the rule, people, if you don't understand it, just shoot it.

• Joel : I'm gonna climb up and into Lincoln's nose.

• Crow T. Robot : Got a match?

  Joel : Yeah, my butt, your face.

• Joel : Hey, check it out, graffiti from the Donner Party.

• Crow T. Robot : Come on, God, why, why, why?

  [groans] 

  Tom Servo : This is-this is a madhouse, a madhouse!

  [groans] 

  Joel : Ugh, I never knew mountain time was so slow.

  Tom Servo : Please...

  Lt. Danny Wilson : Stay with me, baby.

  Crow T. Robot : Come on, "stay with me, baby", is that all you can say?

  [sobbing] 

  Tom Servo : Kill them all, kill them, please, kill them!

  [sobbing] 

  Joel : Come on, hey you guys, calm down. Hey, it's only a movie, we can handle it. Okay?