- Plainclothes Sgt. with Lt. James: The first life of someone living today... over a million years ago
- Crow T. Robot: Strom Thurmond?
- Tom Servo: Endorsed by King the Dog!
- Mike Nelson: I barked my ass off; you'll laugh, you'll growl, you'll pee!
- Lt. Ed James: Go in the kitchen and see if there is any flour.
- Tom Servo: Roll in it and pan fry yourself.
- Mike Nelson: I just told them to take care of the little problem!
- Crow T. Robot: And they did! Here comes Mike, destroyer of worlds!