- FBI Agent Mike Francis: The two of you should be in a zoo.
- Det. Andy Sipowicz: Yeah, and you oughta be a groundskeeper at a miniature golf course.
- FBI Agent Mike Francis: Miniature golf course? What does that mean?
- Det. Andy Sipowicz: Just keep your hands on your po-po and try to make wee-wee.
- [while trying to set up a listening device at the Palermo Social Club]
- FBI Agent Mike Francis: I gotta take a leak.
- Det. Bobby Simone: Need any help with that, too?
- FBI Agent Mike Francis: Don't laugh. You ever have prostatitis?
- Det. Andy Sipowicz: Go ahead, Francis. Do what you gotta do.
- FBI Agent Mike Francis: Feels like you gotta piss all the time. You stand there, you get no flow.
- Det. Andy Sipowicz: Look, I had prostrate trouble once. I don't got it no more, but if you don't get the hell outta here, I'm gonna piss on your shoes.