- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [wearing a biohazard suit] I need you to check the video from 1130, when I left, to 0530, when McGee arrived.
- Abby Sciuto: You need to get a life, Gibbs.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [not hearing her clearly] Last thing I need is another wife!
- Abby Sciuto: [louder] *Life*, Gibbs. You need to get a life.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Never had a cold.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Never had a *cold*?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Never had the flu, either.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Why do I believe him?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Requisition replacement cell phones and weapons for my team. Go!
- Jimmy Palmer: Pistols?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, no, Palmer. Crossbows, if you think they might work better.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [to Tony] Here's your new cell. I'd get the number changed. Women keep calling for Spanky.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hey Kate, did you tell Brad about that wet t-shirt contest you won?
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Did you tell Nurse Emma about the transsexual you tongued?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That never happened.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good thinking Abby.
- Abby Sciuto: [pretending she can't hear] What?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good thinking!
- Abby Sciuto: I don't know Gibbs, I can't hear you through the...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I SAID NICE THINKING!
- [signs something]
- Abby Sciuto: Not nice, Gibbs. Not nice.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: McGee, Kate's never been sake bombing.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Yeah, I don't think I have, either.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I work with a pair of wankers.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering] And you make three, DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Morning, boss.
- [in the isolation chamber]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [coughing] Why are you wearing a mask?
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Because I have a cold.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why aren't you sick?
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Because I'm stronger than you, Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Are not.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Am too.
- [He starts hacking]
- Lt. Emma Ingham: Tony, sit up.
- Dr. Brad Pitt: Kate, you should leave.
- [as soon as she's outside the isolation chamber, Kate bursts into tears]
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Oh, God...
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [hugs her] You were brave to stay with him, Kate.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: He's dying, Ducky.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [walking past them] Ah, the hell he is.
- [Gibbs enters the isolation chamber without a mask]
- Dr. Brad Pitt: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the hell are you?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: His boss. The bug had a suicide chain, it's dead. Been dead for over an hour. He's no longer infectious.
- [goes to Tony's bed and whispers]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tony, listen to me. You listening?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [weakly] I'm listening, Boss.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You will not die. You got that?
- [Tony starts closing his eyes. Gibbs gives him a gentle slap on the head, and Tony opens his eyes again]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I said: You. Will. Not. Die.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I gotcha, Boss.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Honey dust. I give it to girls... women, sorry Kate. I give it to women Christmastime. Very sensuous. You apply it with a feather.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: You don't use the whole chicken?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Never heard of honey dust.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Yeah, that's 'cause your mother raised you to respect women, McGee.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It makes a woman's skin feel silky smooth. When kissed, it tastes like honey. Got a box of honey dust last Christmas. No card.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I think the post office screwed up, boss. Someone else got your bottle of Jack.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [finding out DiNozzo's test results] Positive? Is he going to be okay?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: If he isn't, he answers to *me*!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You know why I feel like Travolta?
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I feel a movie coming on.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: 'The Boy in the Plastic Bubble'. Travolta plays this boy born with immune defiency. This is before AIDS. He lives in this giant plastic bubble.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Tony, Tony, please.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [looking at the empty autopsy room on a monitor] I cannot believe that Gibbs broke protocol!
- [the door opens behind them, and Abby turns]
- Abby Sciuto: [slight chuckle] He didn't.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: He left Autopsy!
- Abby Sciuto: But not isolation.
- [Gibbs and McGee enter wearing biohazard suits]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You didn't create this beast?
- Dr. Pandy: Yes, but only to develop a defense against it. Antibiotic-resistant diseases are potential terrorist weapons.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: A terrorist isn't killing my agent, you are!
- Dr. Pandy: I understand your anger...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, you don't! But if you don't save him, you will!
- Dr. Pandy: It has a suicide chain that stops it from replicating after 32 hours, as a security precaution.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It dies?
- Dr. Pandy: Yes.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It's dead now?
- Dr. Pandy: If it's over 32 hours since the specimen has been infected, all the Y. pestis is dead.
- [Gibbs lowers his gun]
- Dr. Pandy: However... the damage will have been done.
- [Gibbs's gun comes back up]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The "specimen" is going to die?
- Dr. Pandy: No! No, not necessarily. He has the same chance of survival as those infected in plagues of the past. Probably better, since he would be healthy and young...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What was the survival rate of the past?
- Dr. Pandy: People were weakened by depleted crops, bad nutrition...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Damn it! What was the survival rate?
- Dr. Pandy: [tiny voice] Fifteen percent.
- Lt. Emma Ingham: Take any bed you want, you guys.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Thank you, Nurse Emma.
- [Tony follows Kate to her bed]
- Dr. Brad Pitt: But it's prudent to keep some separation in case one of you has been infected.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Thank you, Doctor.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I am going to make your life hell.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: How? You can't be worse than plague... maybe you can.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You know, I recall a couple of plague flicks.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I'm gonna tell Emma all of your dating tricks.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You have very healthy lungs, Emma.
- Lt. Emma Ingham: Is he always like this?
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Unfortunately. Tony's humor has always been sexist, juvenile, raunchy...
- Lt. Emma Ingham: Funny.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Using sunlamps, Brad?
- Dr. Brad Pitt: UV, kills the bacteria in the air, although I can arrange for a sunlamp if you wish.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, not for me, it's for Kate.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: What?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, a little nude sunbathing might get rid of those tan lines.
- Special Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Doctor, could you put him to sleep?