- Gomez Addams: I don't think Wednesday likes the idea of an art tutor.
- Morticia Addams: I know, she didn't knock over a single lamp.
- Wednesday Addams: [straight into camera] Pathetic. He can't even tell an ashtray from a funeral urn.
- Granmama Addams: I hope he won't mind the nails in his feet.
- Uncle Fester: Relax, he'll be flattered. Look at the size of these babys, top of the line!
- Gomez Addams: Really? A scam artist, a fraud, a pizza delivery man. And here I thought you were just the world's greatest artist. Now I'm really impressed!