- Gomez Addams: [Wednesday and Pugsley are not speaking and commincate by holding up written signs] I'm so proud of the children. Starting this petty squable for no reason and sticking with it to the point where it's become absolutely ridiculous!
- Uncle Fester: They're Addams, all right!
- Gomez Addams: Don't you think so, Tish?
- [Morticia stares blankly in front of her]
- Gomez Addams: Tish?
- Morticia Addams: I'm sorry, did you say something?
- Granmama Addams: He said, the children are petty and ridiculous.
- Morticia Addams: [Fester tries on a new sweater knitted by Morticia] Oh dear, I forgot to make an opening for your head.
- Uncle Fester: That's all right, just the way I like it: nice and suffocating.
- Gomez Addams: [Gomez' morning exercises have made Morticia fall out of bed] Oh, I'm sorry... did I wake you?
- Morticia Addams: That's all right, I had to get up anyway.
- Gomez Addams: Why?
- Morticia Addams: Because I was on the floor, darling.