- [Fleeing the fire, the Night Court staff enters a building filled with bodies on tables]
- Harry Stone: This is... the morgue.
- Chief Coroner Morton: [looks over and notices them] Sorry, no walk-ins.
- Harry Stone: Miss Sullivan, in this case I happen to think Dan is more qualified.
- Christine Sullivan: Why, because he has a pair of...
- [notices Roz staring at her]
- Christine Sullivan: ...pants?
- Roz Russell: Chicken!
- Harry Stone: I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
- Public Defender Christine Sullivan: Yeah, me neither.
- Bull Shannon: Uh, Harry, you called her a flighty air-head, and Christine, you said he was a sexist pig flake.
- Harry Stone: Thank you so much, Bull.
- Roz Russell: [after winning a card game, Roz looks under the sheet at a corpse] And I thought I had a good poker face.
- Chief Coroner Morton: [Before attending to another issue, he says to Phil regarding a corpse] Put your finger right there.
- Phil Sanders: [Complies, then says to the corpse] Let me know if this hurts.
- Art Fensterman: It's probably not that important, sir, but remember the fourth floor?
- Harry Stone: yeah...
- Art Fensterman: It's not there anymore
- [after the State Assembly race is announced to be a tie by a single, last-minute vote, the voter's body is brought into the morgue]
- Harry Stone: What was it, a heart attack?
- Attendant Cal: Suicide.
- [he hands Harry a folded note and raises his eyebrows at him]
- Harry Stone: [reading] "I can't stand living in this crummy city another day. So as a final gesture of my contempt for New York, I'm voting to put that scummy worm Dan Fielding into office. Fielding and New York deserve each other. Goodbye, and good riddance."
- Phil Sanders: [sniffles] What a tribute!
- [having just won a case]
- Dan Fielding: [to the plaintiff] Congratulations! I just want you to know that Candidate Dan Fielding is behind you all the way.
- Dan Fielding: [to the defendant] Ah, gee. Tough break! But I just want you to know that Candidate Dan Fielding is behind you all the way.
- Defendant: Thanks.
- [Shakes his hand, leaving toxic sludge behind]
- Phil Sanders: [suggesting a slogan for Dan's campaign for mayor] The Big Apple needs a worm like Fielding.
- Harry Stone: Well, we should be pretty safe until the fire team can rescue us. In the meantime, everybody try to stay calm.
- [Christine immediately lets out a piercing scream as a shrouded corpse rises slowly from the table - then flips down the sheet]
- Attendant Cal: That always gets 'em.
- [laughs]
- [Examining a dead body and speaking into a tape recorder]
- Chief Coroner Morton: Subject shows signs of internal bleeding, rupture of the kidney and pancreatic walls...
- [takes a bite of a sandwich]
- Chief Coroner Morton: ...and massive haemorraging.
- Mac Robinson: Great! Now we're trapped in the dark in a burning building, surrounded by dead bodies!
- Hooker: I got a client from Jersey who'd pay big bucks for this.
- Dan Fielding: I mortgaged my condo to buy radio time. I hired admen to write slogans. I slurred my opponent's patriotism. And now I lose on... AN ISSUE?