- Dan Fielding: You hate me. You all hate me. Everybody hates me! For the first time in my life, I'm taking advantage of being me.
- Leon: [Leon has just defeated Christine in a card game] Take off the dress.
- Christine Sullivan: [Surprised] I thought we were just playing for chips.
- Leon: I already know what chips look like.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Harry walks in] You better watch out, the kid's a shark, you could lose your shirt.
- Christine Sullivan: Now you tell me.
- [Dan gets a pie in the face, but everyone says they set it up]
- Dan Fielding: I made a deal with the guy out in the hall. I said if he took the money just for one hit and gave me the rest, I wouldn't sue him!
- Christine Sullivan: Yes Leon, you've met your match. This man
- [indicating Harry]
- Christine Sullivan: has the brain of a twelve year old.
- Dan Fielding: ,,, and Hit him in the face with a banana cream pie.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Confused] That's a deadly weapon?
- Paul Hodo: I could have sworn it had thawd.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Ah!