- Irene: Harry, I can't help feeling that my life would have been different if only I had met you twenty years ago.
- Harry Stone: I know mine would have. I was fourteen.
- Dan Fielding: Objection.
- Harry Stone: Overruled.
- Dan Fielding: Exception.
- Harry Stone: Noted.
- Dan Fielding: Frustration.
- Harry Stone: Vented.
- Harry Stone: [Harry climbs onto his bench all smiles] Good evening ladies... Let me guess. Sorority prom; had a few too many Daiquiris; got a little giddy; raised a little heck. Right?
- Mac Robinson: They're hookers, sir.
- Harry Stone: Wasn't even in the ball park, was I?
- Harry Stone: Miss Young, is the defense ready?
- Billie Young: Ready, sir.
- Harry Stone: Mr. Prosecutor, does the People have an opening statement?
- Dan Fielding: [Reading from a diary] "I trembled with schoolgirl anticipation, as he pulled me onto the sofa, and the hand that had once waved to cheering crowds now caressed my naked thigh."
- Harry Stone: One of your better efforts, Mr. Fielding.