Night Court (TV Series)

If I Were a Rich Man (1989)

John Larroquette: Dan Fielding

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan Fielding : Well, I happen to be the owner of five thousand acres of prime New Jersey swampland, that might interest one Jordan King.

  Rosalind 'Roz' Russell : How do you know that?

  Dan Fielding : A little birdie told me.

  Christine Sullivan : Dan, you heard that from Bull!

  Dan Fielding : All right, a huge bald condor told me.

  Christine Sullivan : Dan, that information was privileged! Don't you have any scruples?

  Dan Fielding : [grandly amused]  You've known me for five years. You can ask me that question?

• Judge Harry T. Stone : So, Dan, how did it go with Jordan King?

  Dan Fielding : Ah, well, Harry... he's a tough customer, but I made sure he'll never forget the name Dan Fielding.

  Judge Harry T. Stone : He took you to the cleaners, huh?

  Dan Fielding : [slumps in his chair and whimpers]  Yes.

  Judge Harry T. Stone : How bad was it?

  [Dan hands him King's check] 

  Judge Harry T. Stone : $9,000? That's pretty good for a piece of swampland. What'd you pay for it?

  [Dan writes a figure on a piece of paper and passes it to Harry. Harry compares the two] 

  Judge Harry T. Stone : Oh, come on, Dan, so you lost a couple of bucks. One day you'll look back on this...

  [he stops, and compares the two papers again] 

  Judge Harry T. Stone : ...No. *Don't* look back on this.