- Dan Fielding: Well, I happen to be the owner of five thousand acres of prime New Jersey swampland, that might interest one Jordan King.
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: How do you know that?
- Dan Fielding: A little birdie told me.
- Christine Sullivan: Dan, you heard that from Bull!
- Dan Fielding: All right, a huge bald condor told me.
- Christine Sullivan: Dan, that information was privileged! Don't you have any scruples?
- Dan Fielding: [grandly amused] You've known me for five years. You can ask me that question?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: So, Dan, how did it go with Jordan King?
- Dan Fielding: Ah, well, Harry... he's a tough customer, but I made sure he'll never forget the name Dan Fielding.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: He took you to the cleaners, huh?
- Dan Fielding: [slumps in his chair and whimpers] Yes.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: How bad was it?
- [Dan hands him King's check]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: $9,000? That's pretty good for a piece of swampland. What'd you pay for it?
- [Dan writes a figure on a piece of paper and passes it to Harry. Harry compares the two]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Oh, come on, Dan, so you lost a couple of bucks. One day you'll look back on this...
- [he stops, and compares the two papers again]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: ...No. *Don't* look back on this.
- [a man has been arrested for vandalizing a drag cabaret in his neighborhood]
- Mr. Williams: They are an abomination! They are disgusting perverts-!
- Charlie: Hey! This is America, pal! Which means I have the right to make my living dressed as a broad, *if I want to!*