- Dan Fielding: [Looking at an apartment flyer] Look at those high ceilings.
- Mac Robinson: Oh yeah, no more hitting your head when you use the trampoline.
- [And while Dan nods in agreement, Mac shakes his head in disgust]
- Dan Fielding: Just my luck, I get stuck with a guy who doesn't know when to call it a Life!
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: [Sarcastically] Well Breathing can be a hard habit to kick!
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: I quit once for a week
- [unsarcastic]
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: but I couldn't have done it without gum.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Well, I guess when you live by yourself long enough, you develope a few idiosyncrasies.
- Buddy Ryan: Well I understand. Hey, I'm no walk through the carwash myself.
- [He laughs]
- Christine Sullivan: So Sir,
- [playing with a very short hair style]
- Christine Sullivan: What do you think?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Taking no notice of her new cut] I think if we're done by nine
- [looking at his watch]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: I'm going to be flying Lifthansa.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: It just so happens that three gorgeous stewardesses, at this moment, are in My Apartment.
- Dan Fielding: Woah, I see a wild game of Yahtzee tonight uh?
- [Returning to his newspaper, unimpressed]