Night Court (TV Series)
Murder (1987)
Richard Moll: Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon
Quotes
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Dan Fielding : [Enters courtroom angrily at Miss Beeker] You don't know what you're talking about, lady!
Alice Beeker : Please, Mr. Fielding, it happens to a lot of men.
Dan Fielding : Not to me, it doesn't!
Christine Sullivan : Dan, what happened?
Dan Fielding : They rejected me.
Alice Beeker : Many are called, but few are frozen.
Christine Sullivan : They rejected you? Why?
Alice Beeker : His sperm is slow and immature.
Christine Sullivan : [fighting not to laugh] Oh... I'm so sorry I asked.
Dan Fielding : That's great. Why don't you just go ahead and tell the whole world while you're at it?
Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon : [excitedly] I'll start with the cafeteria!
[runs out of the courtroom]
Harry Stone : Miss Beeker, is this something abnormal?
Alice Beeker : Oh, not at all. He just doesn't fit within our semen parameters.
Harry Stone : Which are?
Alice Beeker : Sixty million per cc.
Dan Fielding : I demand a recount!
Alice Beeker : You know Mr. Fielding your problem could be attributed to fatigue. How recent was your last sexual encounter?
Dan Fielding : [hesitates a few seconds] What time is it now?
Alice Beeker : It would be no problem to retest you. But to be sure we have an accurate result I suggest you abstain for two weeks.
Harry Stone : From sex?
Christine Sullivan : Dan?
Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson : I got twenty, says he doesn't make it back to his car.
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Alice Beeker : [In the cafeteria] We can save time by filling out this questionnaire here. So you can make your first deposit tonight.
Dan Fielding : It'll be my pleasure.
[laughs]
Alice Beeker : [Not impressed] All finished?
Dan Fielding : Yeah.
Alice Beeker : Fine. Now... have you ever donated before?
Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon : Yes, he gave at the office.
[laughs]
Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon : I'm never gonna get through this.
[stands up and walks away]
Dan Fielding : No, I haven't.
Alice Beeker : Have you ever had a semen analysis?
Dan Fielding : You mean by a professional? Negative on that too, babe.
Alice Beeker : Now... let's get into your underwear. What kind do you wear?
Dan Fielding : [Everyone in the cafeteria looks at Dan then Dan looks at everyone] Men's! Uh, look, Miss Beeker is all of this necessary, all of this here?
Alice Beeker : I'm afraid so, Mr. Fielding. In fact, it gets even more personal. You see, we have to delve into every aspect and detail of your sex live as part of the screening process.
Dan Fielding : You really enjoy your work, don't you?
Alice Beeker : Immensely.