- Mac Robinson: Good news, sir. I've got the last five cases coming right up. People Vs. Bloom, People Vs. Hauser, People Vs. Stahl and Fisher, and People Vs. Heckler.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Charges?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Uh, uh, littering, spitting on the subway, a fistfight, and staging an illegal sit-in
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Alright, we have some litter, a spitter, two hitters, and a sitter?
- Lisette Hocheiser: Good thing there wasn't a pooper-scooper violation.
- Eddie the Machete: So you're the one who sent him after me. Fielding... Fielding... Fielding!
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: What are you doing?
- Eddie the Machete: I'm burning your name into my brain.
- Rosalind Jane 'Roz' Russell: Want me to write it down for you?
- [while listening to a Walkman, Bull calls the court into session]
- Baliff Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: All rise - defying the gravitational pull of the earth. Manhattan Criminal Court, Part Two, is now moving from an inert state to an in-session state. The Honorable energy mass Harold T. Stone, presiding in space and time.
- Will Sanders: [reading his latest assignment from Dan] Edward Lotz, aka Crazy Eddie, aka "Eddie the Machete", aka..."Edward Scissor-Glands"?
- Christine Sullivan: Something tells me this guy's gone way beyond white collar.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Don't be silly. He's only wanted for...
- [reads]
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: performing plastic surgery without a license.
- Christine Sullivan: [reading] And without anesthesia... and without permission!