- Harry Stone: [to cheerleaders who pled guilty] Three, five, seven, nine. Fifty dollars is your fine.
- Dan Fielding: [to cheerleaders] If you choose to stay behind, show me yours I'll show you mine.
- [the court has to finish its docket by midnight to let the last defendant out in time to rescue his true love from her snob mother]
- Christine Sullivan: I think your daughter could do a lot worse than a guy like Ben.
- Mrs. Rollins: I didn't send my daughter to Europe for two years so she could marry a loser, and end up pregnant working in some dead-end job, like... well, like YOU!
- [she walks away; Christine slowly turns around]
- Christine Sullivan: Sir, I say we take the bitch down.
- Harry Stone: I find you guilty of harassment. And might I add, if you're hungry, go to a restaurant, for criminy's sake, or a grocery store. But leave that poor bird alone!
- [cut to Wile E. Coyote]