- [trapped together in an elevator, during a blizzard]
- Warren Wilson: I hope Simone's all right. She hates the cold. I left her little sweater at home.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: You people are always complaining about stereotypes, and there you are, a practitioner of poodle husbandry.
- Warren Wilson: I made $140,000 last year. How'd you do?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: [incredulous] $140,000?
- Warren Wilson: Yep. And by the way, I can't stand dogs.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: What about Simone? And her "little sweater"?
- Warren Wilson: That's business, Fielding. The little bitch is an investment. I'd dress her up in makeup if it helps increase my profits.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: [smiling] You're my kind of guy, Wilson!
- [smile fades]
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: I can't believe I just said that.
- [Dan is pacing the stuck elevator, rubbing his hands together]
- Warren Wilson: Oh, here. Take my coat.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: I'm fine.
- Warren Wilson: Yeah, right. Look, let's just take turns wearing it.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Well, if it'll keep you quiet...
- [He grabs the coat and drapes it around his shoulders]
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: It's nice material.
- Warren Wilson: Thanks. It's kind of old, it was a gift.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Your mother?
- Warren Wilson: A former... companion.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Oh...
- Warren Wilson: It's all right, it won't bite.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: You said "former" companion. What'd he do, ditch you?
- Warren Wilson: In a way. He died.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: ...I'm sorry.
- Warren Wilson: It's okay, forget it.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: What happened to him?
- Warren Wilson: [shrugs] Same thing happens to a lot of guys. Worked too hard, smoked too much, didn't exercise.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: You get along?
- Warren Wilson: [smiles sadly] Ten years.
- [Dan heads for the elevator, where another man is already waiting. The doors open, and the man steps on, turning around - it's Wilson]
- Warren Wilson: Going my way?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: [stepping on] I'm ROTC combat-trained.
- Warren Wilson: Special Forces, Advanced Infantry - Airborne.
- Baliff Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [after a dog case] You think it's okay if I give him a bone?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Well, if you're sure you're done with it.
- Warren Wilson: I just want you to know, there's no hard feelings. I know you were just doing your job.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Got it.
- Warren Wilson: My I say something else?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Shoot.
- Warren Wilson: I find you very attractive.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: [this prompts Dan to tear his briefcase in two] What?
- Warren Wilson: I just feel attracted to you. I just thought you should know.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: You mean you're...?
- Warren Wilson: Aren't you?
- Warren Wilson: Are you really that stupid?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: That's for me to know and for you to find out.
- Bailiff Selma Hacker: [after everyone hears that Bull may be trapped in a snow cave-in] He'll be okay. Or I'll kill him.
- [Once power is restored, the elevator doors open, and the gang sees Warren sitting in a corner, with his arm around Dan, who is asleep against his shoulder]
- Warren Wilson: Don't just stand there. Somebody get a camera.
- Billie Young: [singing and pantomiming to everyone in the courtroom, who are all less than impressed] Ohhh, watch Mr. Woodchuck romp through the snow. Bag many nuts for the kids at home. A fluffy little tail and a-pointy little ears. Now don't you ever wonder what the woodchuck hears.
- Bailiff Selma Hacker: [Equally as unimpressed as everyone else] Thank God I have no lunch to bring up.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: We of the warm-blooded variety feel an adjournment is in order.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: You mean shut down?
- [Dan nods; Harry looks at Mac, who also nods, then:]
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: Nah!
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: You've got about seventeen layers of clothes on under that robe, haven't you, sir?
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: It's good to be the king.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: That Wilson guy... he's gay.
- Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: And?
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: And...
- [he starts to laugh]
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: And, he thought I was.
- Art Fensterman: Are you?