- Buddy Ryan: [as Harry is about to take another drink] Hey Harry?
- [Harry turns and sees Buddy and Nick at the window in Nick's convertible]
- Buddy Ryan: Want a ride?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: No thanks, Buddy, I'm covered.
- [Is about to resume his drinking, but pauses and looks back. The window is clear. Harry dismisses what he thought he saw]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Nah.
- Buddy Ryan: [yelling at Nick] Hey, look out for that flock of pigeons!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Bull enters the cafeteria wearing a shrunken Santa suit with his stomach exposed] Bull, isn't that suit a tad on the small side for you?
- Bull Shannon: It's the only one they had left. For some reason they had a big rush on Santa suits.
- Dan Fielding: No! On Christmas Eve?
- Roz Russell: [Dan laughs at Roz who is wearing an elf suit] Are you laughing at me, Dan?
- Dan Fielding: Yes I am laughing at you. Men have died laughing at less.
- Roz Russell: [pulls out a large plastic candy cane and presses the tip against Dan's chest] Pick a body cavity, Dan.
- Buddy Ryan: [still amused by what the gang thought about Nick] Nick - Santa Claus. That's hysterical.
- Buddy Ryan: [looks thoughtful]
- Buddy Ryan: Although, that would explain his red convertible.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: What about his red convertible?
- Buddy Ryan: It flies.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Harry has to be told about a department store Santa's altercation with a hooker and her pimp, but in the presence of a little boy] And you are?
- Mandy Davis: I'm the gift that keeps on giving.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: And...?
- Lorenzo: I'm the elf who handles the money.
- [Dan has to explain about an altercation between a department-store Santa and a hooker and her pimp, but with a 10-year-old witness waiting in the background]
- Dan Fielding: So, after the, uh...
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Gift exchange?
- [Dan points and mouths, "thank you", then continues]
- Dan Fielding: Santa... forgot to leave anything under her tree.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [not wanting to send Roz back to holding] Mr. McCracken, is there any chance you might change your mind?
- McCracken: I'll change my mind when *Hell* has frozen over, and the sun has turned to *dust*!
- McCracken: [after Buddy has given him Nick's Christmas gift] What do you do? Go around, just giving gifts to complete strangers?
- Buddy Ryan: We're funny that way.
- Christine Sullivan: [after McCracken walks away with his yo-yo] Isn't that amazing? I mean what are the odds that Buddy's friend would pick out the exact same gift that Mr. McCracken asked Santa for so many years ago?
- Mac Robinson: Hey, wait a minute! Didn't Buddy say his friend's name was Nick?
- Dan Fielding: [with Harry and Bull] Yeah.
- Roz Russell: [stressing what Mac is suggesting] As in *Saint* Nick?
- Dan Fielding: [after Buddy wonders why the gang is asking about Nick] These yahoos thought that Nick might be Santa Claus.
- Buddy Ryan: And you guys are on the *outside*.