- Christine Sullivan: Guess who's concert I have tickets to Saturday night?
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Oh, boy! Charades! How many syllables?
- Christine Sullivan: Eddie Devon.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: You're not very good at this.
- Eddie Devon: Oh, by the way Dr. Melnick. I kept all the Swiss bank accounts. I mean I may be stupid... but I'm not crazy.
- Eddie Devon: [Eddie is giving away everything he owns] Okay, I've got a shopping center.
- [Everyone jumps up excited]
- Eddie Devon: It's in Milwaukee.
- [Everyone sits down dejected]
- [Eddie is about to throw himself down the elevator shaft - for the second time]
- Eddie Devon: [to Melnick] So, you live with this, you scum! AAAAHHHH...!
- [Harry, Christine and Melnick scream as Eddie jumps down - about 3 feet]
- Eddie Devon: Surprise. I'm standing on top of the elevator.
- Dr. Charles Melnick: [collapsed on the floor, holding his chest] I... want... you... dead.
- Eddie Devon: [jumps back to the floor] Why? You said I have so much to live for.
- [to Harry and Christine]
- Eddie Devon: So what do you think, guys? My first joke.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [sagging against the wall] It killed me.
- Eddie Devon: [runs into the courtroom] I feel great!
- Christine Sullivan: [jumps out of her chair] AAAAAAAHHHH!
- [Everyone stares at her]
- Christine Sullivan: [faking nonchalance] Oh, look who's here.