- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: [Dan handing out address to his apartment to foreign beauty pageant contestants] This is the address to Dan's apartment. Dan's apartment is Goood!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Smiling widely as a group of bathing beauties file into the courtroom] You know sometimes this is a great job.
- Bailiff Selma Hacker: Sir, can I use some of the petty cash to buy food for those bathing beauties?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Sure, how are they getting along?
- Bailiff Selma Hacker: Well, as far as I can tell... on looks alone.
- Eleanor Brandon: Harry... I'm your mother.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Oh!
- [confused and unsure he puts out his hand]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Please to meet you.
- [She smiles and shakes it]
- Public Defender Liz Williams: Your Honor, my clients were lured to New York under the guise of a legitimate beauty contest. However, it turned out that Mr. Harris here did not have the prize money he claimed to have. The girls found out during the competition and... they responded.
- Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Your honor, according to witnesses Miss Congeniality led the attack with a kick to the groin.
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [to Miss Sweden] My name is Bull.
- [She doesn't seem to understand]
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Bull!
- [Still nothing]
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: Here, look.
- [Pulls out a tablet and draws one]
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: See?
- [Speaking Swedish happily, she seems to understand, but is making gestures like milking a cow]
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: No no no, not a cow.
- [He then draws what is assumed to be a large penis on it. she sees it, looks shocked, then hits Bull in the gut and goes off on him again in Swedish, and walks away]