- Norm Henderson: You know what I do when a girl breaks up with me, is I pretend that, ah, I never loved her and that I was just using her for the sex. Either that or I pretend, ah, that I'm a superhero and I need to extract fuel from her to help me fly.
- Shelly Kilmartin: How on Earth could Taylor have a crush on you?
- Norm Henderson: What are you talking about? You dated me.
- Shelly Kilmartin: [ponders for a second] How on Earth could I have dated you?
- Norm Henderson: Hey, I'll tell you what,
- [picks up a bowl of snacks]
- Norm Henderson: why don't you have some, ah, snacks here instead of talkin', huh?
- Danny Sanchez: He completely destroeyd my life.
- [drinking at the bar after losing Taylor]
- Artie Henderson: Look, Danny, I'm not gonna say it was a miracle you got a chick like Taylor; it was. Not gonna say you're never gonna get another broad like that; you won't. All I'm saying is you got to stay positive!
- Danny Sanchez: Do you know how many things had to go exactly right for me to get Taylor? The same number of accidents that created life on Earth.
- Norm Henderson: Hey! Those weren't accidents. Our Lord God set those things in motion. And I believe that our Lord God is up in Heaven right now trying to find you, ah, another chesty broad, you know?