One Foot in the Grave (TV Series)

The Affair of the Hollow Lady (1995)

Richard Wilson: Victor Meldrew

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Victor Meldrew : The absolute limit that was. You wouldn't believe that anyone could pick their nose all the way through 'Dances with Wolves', would you? Three and a half hours I had to sit next to that. And always the right nostril; he never touched the left one. Always the one at *my* side! You'd think he was digging the channel tunnel. Really. Come on, what's the matter? I'm ruddy freezing out here.

  Margaret Meldrew : It won't turn! It's jammed again, bloody thing!

  Victor Meldrew : You're joking, surely. Here, give it here. I managed it this morning by jiggling slightly to the... Little bugger! Turn for God's sake!

  Margaret Meldrew : Two hundred and sixty pounds we paid for this. A complete set of new locks so secure that even we can't get in! Good old Yellow Pages.

• [last lines] 

  Victor Meldrew : There aren't many wives who'd forgive me for going round to her house in the first place, even just to watch football.

  Margaret Meldrew : Wouldn't they?

  Victor Meldrew : I mean, at least we're a bit more mature than that.

  Margaret Meldrew : Yes.

  [Victor screams in pain]