- Margaret Meldrew: You haven't forgotten we're going to Ronnie and Mildred's tonight?
- Victor Meldrew: I try to forget we're going to Ronnie and Mildred's tonight, like you try to forget you're going to die, but it doesn't work. I wonder what hideous novelties they'll have brought back from their holidays this year? Another souvenir photograph printed on the back of a lavatory seat? I can't believe that pair sometimes.
- [last lines]
- Victor Meldrew: I think this time we've been lucky, actually. I can't see any damage, can you?
- Margaret Meldrew: What time's your appointment with the dentist this morning?
- Victor Meldrew: 11.30
- Margaret Meldrew: Thank God for that. I've seen enough of those temporary crowns to last me a lifetime. It's like being kissed good-night by Bugs Bunny.
- [first lines]
- Victor Meldrew: Unbelievable! I mean, look at that! Wandering about his bedroom without a stitch on. Naked as the day he was born; talk about being an exhibitionist. I thought he'd one of those balloon animals tied to his waist when he first walked in.