Only Fools and Horses (TV Series)

Christmas Crackers (1981)

David Jason: Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grandad : Who's Brenda & Terry?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Eh?

  Grandad : Who's Brenda & Terry?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Who's Brenda & Terry?

  Grandad : Yeah.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Who's Brenda & Terry Rodney?

  Rodney Trotter : Well I don't know.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : What are you going on about you old div?

  Grandad : Well we got a Christmas card from them. It said "Love from Brenda & Terry & the kids, Shirley, Shane & Shaun"

  Rodney Trotter : Yeah, yeah that was from Brenda & Terry?

  Grandad : I know. Who is Brenda & Terry?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Shirley, Shane & Shaun's mum & dad innit?

  Grandad : Oh. Did we send them one back?

  Rodney Trotter : Well how can we send them one back? We don't know who they are, let alone where they live.

• Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : When a woman goes out with me, she is guaranteed three things. Well, four, actually, but the fourth is an optional extra.

• [Rodney, bored, blows a party blower] 

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : [bleary]  Sorry.

• Rodney Trotter : Well I'm going to say I'm on hunger strike. Some kind of humanitarian grounds.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Oh leave it out will you, leave it out. I remember the last time that you went on hunger strike, over a protest about the American cruise missiles being based in Britain. You said that you were going to starve yourself until all the missiles were removed.

  Rodney Trotter : So?

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : So? So that was 8 months ago. The missiles are still here. What is more to the point Rodney so are you. You went one & a half days on hunger strike & you sent out for a curry.

  Rodney Trotter : Well I was starving.

  Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Well that's the idea of it you plonker.