Peep Show (TV Series)

Warring Factions (2003)

Elizabeth Marmur: Toni

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeremy Usborne : So, Toni's friends. Who, what, why, where?

  Toni : Well, that's the fun, I don't know anyone! These are our neighbours.

  Mark Corrigan : Neighbours?

  Toni : Why, did you think I was going to invite my friends? I tell you, you find out who your real friends are when you set fire to Hampton Court maze because you can't take any more of your husband's shit.

• [they're playing the game where people have names of famous people on notes stick to their foreheads and they have to guess who it is] 

  Toni : Hey Jeremy, have you worked out your...

  Jeremy Usborne : [his one is David Blunkett]  Oh, don't even go there. It is literally impossible. Turns out I'm just someone's secretary.

  Mark Corrigan : The *Home* Secretary, Jeremy, you're the Home Secretary.

• Mark Corrigan : Yeah, so, er, Jeremy tells me you watched a porno together. You know, I'd be into...

  Toni : That wasn't a porno. That was The English Patient.

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Ha! What an idiotic boob! He's out, I'm in!

• Toni : Don't do anything I wouldn't do, sis... which leaves her a hell of a lot of leeway!

• Mark Corrigan : [trying to seduce Toni by talking about Stalingrad]  See, by the winter of '42, the whole city was surrounded by the massed Sixth Army. It was pressing...

  [he holds Toni's hand] 

  Mark Corrigan : And pressing. The Russians couldn't on much longer. Many wanted to submit.

  Toni : Mark, you know I don't just bang anyone, yeah? I'm not some kind of next-door fuck jar.

  Mark Corrigan : No. No, of course not. What I mean is that the German supply lines were stretched, Zhukov countered...

  [he puts Toni's hand back in her lap] 

  Mark Corrigan : And the siege was broken. And that's all the story of Stalingrad.

• Toni : [about Barry, who she considers to be a "serious power-tripper"]  I mean, yes, we can see your hairy chest and no, we're not impressed!

• Mark Corrigan : Listen, let's talk about something else. Something fun. Do you like Blackadder? I got the Blackadder set for Christmas.

  Toni : [shaking her head]  I never really... I mean...

  Mark Corrigan : No, sure, forget it. Terrible idea.

  [spots the CD of Jeremy's song] 

  Mark Corrigan : I know, I know something funny...

  [cut to them listening to the song, clearly finding it hilariously awful] 

  Mark Corrigan : And he's been working on it for about a month!