Peep Show (TV Series)

Sectioning (2005)

Robert Webb: Jeremy Usborne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeremy Usborne : [about their pub]  I'm just really not happy with the name "Free the Paedos". I mean, can't we call it something more normal like... The Swan and Tomato?

  Super Hans : Yeah, or compromise? The Swan and Paedo.

• Super Hans : [looking at the junk-filled room which is going to be their pub]  Oh yeah. Fuck yeah, look at this place!

  Jeremy Usborne : I know. Still, we can move all this crap out and put a bar in, what, over there?

  Super Hans : No mate, no way. Don't change nothing. It's perfect.

  Jeremy Usborne : Perfect? Super Hans, it doesn't even look like a pub.

  Super Hans : Exactly. I've been down enough bloody city boy chain pubs with their logos in the foam and disinfectant in the lager, air freshener in the mayo. Nah, I wanna run a place that makes a difference.

  Jeremy Usborne : Yeah, well, I'm sure we can sort that out somehow. Let's start by getting rid of this.

  Super Hans : [slams his hand down on the washing machine next to him]  That stays. That's the reason I fell in love with this place.

  Jeremy Usborne : You want a washing machine in the pub?

  Super Hans : It'll freak 'em out! What the fuck's a washing machine doing in a pub? Jesus, I need a drink. Yeah? And boom, they'll have to have one of our organic scrumpies.

  Jeremy Usborne : Right, the thing is, Hans, as I've said before, I really just think we should serve at least one lager, and nuts. You know, people like lager and nuts.

  Super Hans : People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can't trust people, Jeremy.

• Mark Corrigan : So, the pub. What are you calling it?

  Jeremy Usborne : No problem there. I mean, we're deadlocked on that, and a few other things, but I'm definitely not co-managing a pub called "Free the Paedos".

• Jeremy Usborne : Just imagine, me in the pub all day, but no one can say a thing because it's my job and I've got to be there. I'll literally get paid to go to the pub.

  Mark Corrigan : Yeah, I mean, I guess it won't be quite like being paid just to go to the pub because you'll be doing all the pub stuff, the barrels, the tubes, the debit card authorisations.

  Jeremy Usborne : Mark, do you have to live quite so relentlessly in the real world?

• Mark Corrigan : Have you done your market research?

  Jeremy Usborne : Market research? If you build it, they will come, that's my market research.

  Mark Corrigan : Your market research is Field of Dreams? I mean, a man who made a baseball pitch in his garden for ghosts, that's your role model?