Perfect Strangers (TV Series)

Baby, You Can Drive My Car (1986)

Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous

Photos 

Quotes 

• Balki Bartokomous : You can fool some of the sheep all of the time, but you can't fool some of the sheep all of the time!

• Balki Bartokomous : All right, there's one question I have to ask about the manual. If four persons come to a four-way stop at the same moment, and the man on my right has the right of way, who goes first because everybody has somebody on his right.

  Larry Appleton : That's why you buy insurance.

• Balki Bartokomous : All right, I'm turning right, now!

  Larry Appleton : All right, signal, signal, signal!

  [Balki throws his right arm out straight, hitting Larry and knocking him backwards off the coffee table. Larry slowly looks up over the coffee table, fuming] 

  Balki Bartokomous : Next time, buckle up. It's the law.

  [Larry buries his face in his arm, frustrated] 

• Balki Bartokomous : [reading the fine print on an eye chart]  'Copyright 1963. Printed in Hicksville, New York', by somebody named Pat Pending.

• Balki Bartokomous : Now I never will be a real live cousin of my Uncle Sam.

• Mr. Donald 'Twinkie' Twinkacetti : [to Larry]  You lost the bet. Pay me. Give me my money!

  Balki Bartokomous : You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

  Mr. Donald 'Twinkie' Twinkacetti : Human suffering is my thing.