Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous

Quotes 

• Balki Bartokomous : I don't understand how one mean person can ruin everyone's happy hours!

• Larry Appleton : Say Chuck, do you have a blueprint for your brain? I'm building an idiot!

  Balki Bartokomous : [in a hurt tone]  Cousin, you didn't tell me you were building an idiot!

  Larry Appleton : It was going to be a surprise.

• Larry Appleton : You know what really makes me angry is that there is nothing guys like you and me can do about guys like Chuck.

  Balki Bartokomous : Now you know, I'm not sure I agree with you. What about David and Goliath? What about Jack and the beanstalk? What about the Captain and Tennille?

• Larry Appleton : You know, Balki, these sneak attacks have really sharpened my reflexes. My senses have been honed to a razor's edge.

  Balki Bartokomous : Yeah, you could cut your toenails on my senses, too.

• Balki Bartokomous : Now that we're lean cuisine fighting machines...