- Larry Appleton: Where have you been?
- Balki Bartokomous: Well, uh... I've been to Memphis... I've been to, uh, Nashville... I guess I've been more places than you can shake a stick at.
- Mr. Sam Gorpley: If you don't start acting like yourself by the time I count to three, you are out of a job! One...
- Balki Bartokomous: For the money!
- Mr. Sam Gorpley: Two...
- Balki Bartokomous: For the show!