Primetime Glick (TV Series)

Bill Maher/Steve Martin (2001)

Martin Short: Jiminy Glick, Miss Gathercole, Various

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill Maher : You look great, by the way. Have you lost weight?

  Jiminy Glick : Do you know what, I'll, I'll tell you something...

  Bill Maher : Because I think you found it again.

  [Jiminy laughs] 

• Jiminy Glick : I'm not trying to brag or anything, but my lady and I have been together for twenty-three wonderful years. We have a very active sexual life. Sometimes, four or five, y'know...

  Bill Maher : Times a year?

  Jiminy Glick : ...Pops a week.

  Bill Maher : That's great. I always thought it was a whole front, that you were gay, but that's... y'know, just what I've heard.

  Jiminy Glick : Why- isn't that interesting, coming from a forty-four year old bachelor.

• Jiminy Glick : I loved all the different catchphrases you do, like, uh, um... I wanna say, I wanna say "I pity the fool", but that was Mr. T.

  Steve Martin : This is an exciting interview. When do we get to a question?

  Jiminy Glick : I don't get- are you doing more of your "irony" humor?

  Steve Martin : Yes, actually. I'm sorry.

  Jiminy Glick : And do you think that's what's kept you out of the big, big money?

  Steve Martin : Well, it keeps your work at a certain level of, of, of being "good" but not "VERY good", and I think that's a great place to be.

  Jiminy Glick : I would think that when you do jokes, you want people to respond and laugh.

  Steve Martin : Mm-hmm. Sometimes they do, when it's a different type of... person.

  Jiminy Glick : A different person, a different type of audience, an audience, let's say, uh, more with booze on their breath.

  Steve Martin : No. I think of it as a... smarter crowd.

  Jiminy Glick : Who?

  Steve Martin : The audience, for example, that would get my humor, is more, uh...

  Jiminy Glick : De Kooning.

  [Steve gives an attentive look] 

  Jiminy Glick : Who's De Kooning?

  Steve Martin : Uh, De Kooning is an important American painter- did you see the movie "Pollock"?

  [Jiminy looks clueless] 

  Steve Martin : About the American painter Poll- did you see the movie "Lust for Life"?

  [another glazed over look from Jiminy] 

  Steve Martin : Did you see the movie "The Agony and the Ecstasy", about Michaelangelo?

  Jiminy Glick : I saw "Madame X" with Lana Turner, and in the background there was a wonderful abstract painting that everyone pretended to care about, and I think that that was a De Kooning.

• Steve Martin : I've hardly talked about my movie.

  Jiminy Glick : Oh yes, what were you here promoting?

  Steve Martin : [pause]  Oh, actually, it was a website.

  Jiminy Glick : And what's the website, Steve Martin? Wha, where, how can we find what your latest thing is?

  Steve Martin : Uh, just adultdiapers.com.

  Jiminy Glick : Now, I don't wanna be indiscreet, but can you actually do a "stinky" and then go out publicly?

  Steve Martin : ...In the adult diapers, you mean?

  Jiminy Glick : Yes.

  Steve Martin : I never asked, really. I, I...

  Jiminy Glick : So you endorse...

  Steve Martin : It's probably on the label somewhere.

  Jiminy Glick : Well why did you think people are wearing adult diapers? To give them bulk at that age? I think they've got it.

  Steve Martin : No, I think it's just a convenience. Sometimes you can't find a restroom, you might be on a date, and why pull over?

  Jiminy Glick : But that's where, the, the question mark around the word "stinky". Can you do a "stinky" in them. Because if you can't, what's the point of them? Because ANYONE can just pee their pants; I did it five minutes ago.

  [Steve chuckles] 

  Jiminy Glick : Never felt better, never felt freer. But to do a "stinky" while talking to a big Oscar kind-of-considered actor through the years, wouldn't that be a mistake? And wouldn't I feel liberated by wearing an adult diaper? Adult diapers to be free to do a "stinky".

  Steve Martin : [laughs]  Oh, Jiminy... Jiminy...

  Jiminy Glick : Well, it's my opinion. I've been talking to the wonderful Steve Martin! He's fun. All right, Steve, thanks.

  Steve Martin : Thank you.

  Jiminy Glick : You know what?

  [taps Steve with his rolled-up newspaper] 

  Jiminy Glick : I've gotta go, because all this talk of what we were talkin' about before... mmm...