Primetime Glick (TV Series)

Rob Lowe/Billy Crystal (2001)

Martin Short: Jiminy Glick, Miss Gathercole, Various

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jiminy Glick : You were born in Charlottesville, Virginia, and yet there's not a trace of an accent. What is Rob Lowe running away from?

  Rob Lowe : My Southern heritage.

  Jiminy Glick : Your Southern heritage. You know, many people felt that being from the South, you've gotta lose it. The wonderful Ava Gardner had a Southern accent, and she was told to lose it, too. And she was always drinking, even then. And she, but she was a man's woman, and I think that she broke Frank Sinatra's heart and I don't think he ever recovered. I think Mia Farrow was a bandage, and I think that Juliet Prowse was a fake, and I think that Barbara Sinatra could be mean to the people that she didn't like and nice to the people she liked. What is your opinion of Barbara Sinatra?

  Rob Lowe : Now, are you sweating or crying?

  Jiminy Glick : No I, I tend to retain water facially. It's an old family trait.

• Jiminy Glick : Marvin Hamlisch: I don't think he should wear jeans anymore.

  Billy Crystal : [laughs]  Really?

  Jiminy Glick : Oh my God, I thought there was a denim parade goin' by, the denim float had broke and gone down the sidewalk and Marvin Hamlisch was racin' for it, y'know.

• Jiminy Glick : Robert De Niro.

  Billy Crystal : Yes.

  Jiminy Glick : What's THAT about?

  Billy Crystal : What do you mean, "what's that about?"?

  Jiminy Glick : You think he's real good?

  Billy Crystal : I think he's pretty great, yeah.

  Jiminy Glick : [skeptically]  Yeah, I guess...

  Billy Crystal : Wha, now, this, I...

  Jiminy Glick : Well, I just...

  Billy Crystal : George Maharis, you love...

  Jiminy Glick : De Niro has to say the "F" word. I don't like the "F" word: "F" this, "F" that, "F", "F", "F", "F". And he's always playing gangsters a lot, and I bet... I bet he bullies people on the set.

  Billy Crystal : Oh no no no, he's very quiet.

  Jiminy Glick : No.

  Billy Crystal : No, he plays that character great, but a very quiet...

  Jiminy Glick : I hear he's quiet.

  Billy Crystal : Yeah, he's terrific. You'd like him.

  Jiminy Glick : Nah, I don't...

  Billy Crystal : But maybe you're right. If, if you like George Maharis, you'll hate Robert De Niro.

• Jiminy Glick : Aren't you a mime?

  Billy Crystal : No, no I never did...

  Jiminy Glick : Weren't you a mime in "Spinal Tap"?

  Billy Crystal : I was a mime in "Spinal Tap", yes.

  Jiminy Glick : So how come you said you weren't a mime before? You're lying?

  Billy Crystal : N- no, I PLAYED a mime...

  Jiminy Glick : Are you one of those Hollywood liars?

  Billy Crystal : No, I played a mime, but I never was a mime like at a mall or something.

  Jiminy Glick : I'm not gonna get argumentative, because I'm thrilled you're here, and I love you in a beard.

  Billy Crystal : Did you see "Spinal Tap"?

  Jiminy Glick : No, I read the book.

  Billy Crystal : 'Cause I said, "Mime is money."

  Jiminy Glick : I'm not interested in that part of the conversation.

• Jiminy Glick : [repeatedly punching Rob Lowe]  "West Wing", my ass! Goodbye, pretty boy!

• Jiminy Glick : Look how youthful this audience looks! Oh my goodness! It's like you've all had simultaneous Botox injections! Ha ha ha ha ha! Have you all had a rib removed? That's my question of the day.