- Oscar Proud: [notices baby looking at him in his stroller] well, hello little baby
- [pinches baby's cheek]
- Oscar Proud: aren't you cute!
- The Talking Baby: Egads, did you gargle with garlic juice this morning? There's a dollar behind my pillow take it and go through the carwash with your mouth open.
- Oscar Proud: [Excitingly surprised picks up baby] this store is great look at this that a talking doll. Where do you keep the batteries?
- The Talking Baby: The same place the ventriloquist puts his hand in you.
- Oscar Proud: Wait a minute I think you just insulted me.
- The Talking Baby: No sir that outfit insults you I merely mock you.
- Oscar Proud: Ah, you got jokes who are you an ugly Chucky wannabe?
- The Talking Baby: No I'm just your mental superior, now it's time for your line it should go something like this, "Duh!".
- Oscar Proud: Don't let that formula encrusted mouth of yours write a check your diaper rash bottom can't cash
- [baby throws bottle at Oscar]
- Oscar Proud: hey! You and me shortie, outside now!