Quantum Leap (TV Series)
Dr. Ruth - April 25, 1985 (1993)
Dean Stockwell: Al
Photos
Quotes
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Al : Sam. Sex is not dirty. It's a very natural thing. Being frank about it, and educating your children to be morally responsible and safe, er, is better than sweeping it under the rug.
Sam : That's a pretty mature attitude, coming from somebody like you.
Al : No, it's not coming from me. That's coming from the real Dr. Ruth in the Waiting Room.
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Al : Tina's crazy about me.
Dr. Ruth : And you are crazy about her, aren't you?
Al : Well, no, I... I wouldn't say that. I'd say I, I like her.
Dr. Ruth : You just *like* her?
Al : I like her a lot. A lot.
Dr. Ruth : Does that mean, you love her?
Al : Uh...
Dr. Ruth : It may have four letters, but 'love' is not a dirty word.
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Dr. Ruth : Tell me about your girlfriend.
Al : W-well, uh, her name is Tina.
Dr. Ruth : M-hm. So tell me more.
Al : More about Tina?
Dr. Ruth : M-hm.
Al : Ah. Well, um... Oh, well. She's got... great... casabas.
Dr. Ruth : What are these casabas?
Al : Well, you know. Melons.
Dr. Ruth : Hmm?
Al : Hoo-has? Honkers? Hooters? Headlights? Uh... tatas? Teeters? Tweeters? Tom-toms? Tetons?
Dr. Ruth : Say it.
Al : I'm trying to say it. Uh, meatballs. Mangoes. Cream pies. Cupcakes? Uh... bangers? Bouncers? Bulumbas?
Dr. Ruth : Al.
Al : Bazongas? Breasts! I said it.
Dr. Ruth : You see? It wasn't that hard.
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[last lines]
[Al has told Dr. Ruth about his first wife Beth]
Dr. Ruth : Did you love this Beth more than you love Tina?
Al : Yes. But it was different.
Dr. Ruth : So you love Tina different than Beth, but you still love her?
Al : Yes.
Dr. Ruth : Did you hear what you just said?
Al : I said, I love Tina different... I s- I said it!
Dr. Ruth : Maybe I tricked you into it, but you said it. Now say it again, and drop the "different" part. That's a given.
Al : I love Tina.
Dr. Ruth : Now go tell her.
Al : Okay. Gee, thanks, Doc.
[he leaves]
Dr. Ruth : Next!
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Dr. Ruth : I'm sorry to say, I'm very disappointed in you, Al.
Al : You're disappointed in me?
Dr. Ruth : You say this is the future. I thought by now, people like you would have a healthier attitude towards sex.
Al : I have a very healthy attitude towards sex.
Dr. Ruth : I think you have a problem.
Al : With all due respect, Dr. Ruth, when it comes to women, Al Calavicci doesn't have any problems.
Dr. Ruth : I think you are afraid of something.
Al : You're right: alimony.
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Al : [to Sam] Ziggy says you're here to help Doug and Debbie. Unless you do something about that, you're gonna stay stuck in 1985, wearing your silly high heels and your stupid dresses, and talking to strangers about G-spots.
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Debbie Schaefer : ...Three days later you said you had the jitters. You stopped performing, remember?
Al : Oh, this sounds juicy.
Doug Bridges : What exactly do you mean by "performing"?
Debbie Schaefer : Do I have to spell it out for you? The cork on the champagne bottle wouldn't pop.
Doug Bridges : Uh-huh.
Debbie Schaefer : The thrusters weren't thrusting.
Doug Bridges : Oh, really?
Debbie Schaefer : There was no lift-off!
Sam : Could we change the subject, please?
Doug Bridges : No, please, let her go ahead. I think there's a couple in the next room who didn't hear about my thrusters!
Al : Not so good, Sam.
Sam : What am I supposed to do?
Doug Bridges : Get her a bullhorn. She can announce it from the Chrysler Building: "Doug's rocket didn't launch!"
