- [Sam has to deal with a pair of very flirtatious twins]
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [taking them in his arms] Let me ask you, ladies, what... is it exactly that you have in mind?
- Lisel: Well, Elsa and I have a political function to attend. And we thought...
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [starts kissing them one by one] Something, uh, wild, or something... free?
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Hey! Is that part of me still in you or what?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe.
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Stop this!
- Elsa: Maybe?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe we should make some of those uptight political types really suffer! So why don't you ladies get out of those clothes, slip into some robes? We'll wash you...
- [handkiss]
- Dr. Sam Beckett: We'll rinse you...
- [handkiss]
- Dr. Sam Beckett: And I'll think of something really nasty for your hair. Rraorr!
- [the twins growl back and disappear in a corridor; all the while, Al's face has become longer and longer]
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Ha! You're drooling!
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Of course I'm drooling. Why are you doing this to me? I never had my own little set of twins, ha-ha.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Because you deserve it.
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Huh?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: You nag me if I don't resist women, and you nag me if I do resist...
- Admiral Al Calavicci: You're doing this to torture me!
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Yes. And it's working.
- Kyle: Why'd he shoot Phil? He was a nice man.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Frank] Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
- [Sam embodies Frank, a dashing hairdresser, who is very popular with his female clientele]
- Mimi: How's the girlfriend?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: She's great.
- Mimi: Pity.
- [last lines]
- [Sam has offered to teach Kyle to swim, like a father would his son]
- Kyle: Father?
- Laura: What're you saying, Frank?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Um...
- Admiral Al Calavicci: That's okay. Frank and Laura get married.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: I guess... I guess I'm... asking you to marry me - Frank. M-me.
- Laura: You guess?
- Admiral Al Calavicci: I guess, "guess" is not the best choice of words, Sam.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: [chuckles and clears throat] Will you marry me?
- Kyle: Yes!
- Laura: Yes. Yes!
- Chloe: Frank!
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Huh?
- Chloe: [holding up several bottles] Which one of these did you mix in the stripping solution that you put on Charisse?
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh...
- Admiral Al Calavicci: All of'em.
- Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, a-a-a-all of'em.
- Chloe: Have you been breathing vapors?
- Admiral Al Calavicci: Ah, he's into punk.