Quantum Leap (TV Series)

The Wrong Stuff - January 24, 1961 (1991)

Scott Bakula: Dr. Sam Beckett, Bobo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam : Al, I'm a chimp!

  Al : You're lucky you didn't leap in as a bullfrog.

• Al : What about the Quantum rules? You have to at least pretend that you are who you leap into.

  Sam : That's if I'm a human. I'm not a human, I'm a chimp! We don't have rules for chimps, do we?

  Al : You can't get off on a technicality.

  Sam : Okay, wise guy, then what am I here to do?

  Al : Join the circus.

• [Sam has leaped into Bobo, one of the test chimps in the early stages of Project Mercury] 

  Sam : [to the vet examining him]  Lady, I need to tell you something that's probably gonna come as a terrible, terrible shock to you, but, see, I am not...

  Dr. Leslie Ashton : Bobo, no. Good boy.

  Sam : I am not a chimp, all ri...?

  [chimp Cory blows a raspberry at him] 

  Sam : No offense, okay?

• Al : You leaped into the space program, Sam.

  Sam : I've leaped into a diaper!

• Dr. Tucker : How you doing today, Bobo?

  Sam : Oh, pretty miserable. Yourself?

• Dr. Frank Winger : [referring to Sam/Bobo]  So, is this one of your, uh, future astronauts?

  Sam : Not if I can help it.

  Dr. Leslie Ashton : These guys can do almost everything an astronaut can, except maybe swim after splashdown.

  Dr. Frank Winger : You mean, uh, chimps can't swim?

  Dr. Leslie Ashton : They drown, because they have so little body fat. So long as the capsule stays afloat, he'll be fine.

• Sam : [narrating]  Even though my memory was Swiss-cheesed, I couldn't forget the early days of the space race. In our mad dash to beat the Russians, we quickly put together a space program, and shot anything and everything up into the air. I only hoped I wouldn't be one of the anythings.

• [Sam is in a cage eating a banana, while Cory, the chimp in the next cage, reaches for it] 

  Sam : Uh-uh. I'm sorry. I'm hungry, okay? Sue me.

  [Cory purses her lips at Sam] 

  Sam : No, thanks, I'm not in the mood. I'm sorry.

  Al : Well, I think she is, Sam. I think she likes youuu.

• Sam : What am I doing here Al? I mean... how did I get here like this?

  Al : Well, uh, we know that, uh, chimps are our closest relatives, that, uh, genetically, they're 99% identical to us. As a matter of fact, they're so close that your could even share your blood with a chimp.

  Sam : I'm in the body of a chimp. That's too close!

• Sam : I gotta get out of here!

  Al : What are you gonna do? Go to work for an organ grinder?

• Al : [after taking a closer look at the vet Dr. Ashton]  Boy, makes me wish I was an ape.

  Sam : Well, you're acting like one.

• Sam : Nobel prize in physics, I'm fighting to keep my diaper on. What's next?

  [he gets splashed with some kind of pulp - by Cory, who grimaces at Sam] 

  Dr. Leslie Ashton : [laughing]  Cory, stop flirting with Bobo!

  Sam : I'm sorry I asked.

• Sam : [narrating]  Spending the night as an astro-chimp wasn't as bad as it might seem. My bed was firm, the food was free, and the company was... more than friendly. The only thing I really needed was... a shave - over my entire body.

• [last lines] 

  Sam : What happens now?

  Al : [consulting his handlink]  Uh... Dr. Winger, he stops his tests with chimps. Oh, that's good. And he still goes on, develops this helmet that's still in use. It saves a lot of human lives.

  Sam : That's great, Al. What about Leslie?

  Al : Uh, she... Let's see, she starts her own vet practice in Santa Fe in 1965, and she builds this sanctuary for orphaned and ex-research chimps.

  Sam : What about Cory?

  Al : Tuh - sh-she and Bobo have a baby.

  Sam : [laughing]  Well, thank goodness I won't be around for that.