- Melissa: You know, Bert. I think we should have a little talk.
- Bert: Talk? Ohhh... Let's ride!
- Ralph: What Melissa wants to talk about, Bert is... our private time.
- Bert: Our private time? But Ralph, I love our private time! Why I even love our private time when Melissa is with us too!
- Melissa: [peeved] Ohhhh... I meant *our* private time!
- Bert: Oh.
- Melissa: Well, you said it yourself; We eat together, we work together, we do everything *together*!
- [Bert hangs his head]
- Melissa: You're *never* on your own. Why, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were *afraid* to be by yourself!
- Bert: [offended] Afraid? Me, afraid? *Bert Raccoon*?
- [He scoffs]
- Bert: Huh! Afraid to be alone! Why, I'm not afraid of anything! I even go to sleep without a nightlight!
- Cyril: If you can't make it on your own, then you can't make it! And that's the way you've got to make it in this world, Cedric. Alone!
- Cyril Sneer: [Cyril sets off a trap which causes a boulder to roll down the hill to stop Bert getting up the mountain] I built this stuff into the mountain twenty years ago, and it still works!
- [the boulder rebounds off the curved trunk of a tree just before it reaches Bert, and is sent flying back towards Cyril and the pigs]
- Pig One: Unfortunately sir, but...
- Pig Two: That tree wasn't there...
- Pig Three: TWENTY YEARS AGO!
- Cyril: [Sees Bert making his way back up the mountain after falling] What? He's still coming? He must be a cat in a raccoonskin suit!
- Pig One: [the Pigs find Sam Sneer's Statue at the top of the mountain] *This* is the secret we've been protecting?
- [Pigs Giggle]
- Cyril Sneer: [enraged] You find something funny about a Sneer that gave away *all* his money?
- Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: No, sir! No, sir!
- Cyril Sneer: A Sneer who gave everything away to charity? This statue is an embarrassment to me! It could ruin my image forever!
- [He kicks the statue's podium, and hops around on one foot, yelping in pain]
- Pig One: But sir, why don't you just destroy it?
- Cyril Sneer: Destroy it?
- Pig Two: Yes, Sir. Destroy it!
- Cyril Sneer: On top of by being quiet, humble, generous and kind, I also always keep my word.
- [hears his Uncle's voice in flashback]
- Sam Sneer: Promise me!
- Cyril Sneer: I suggest you do the same.
- Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: Yes sir.
- Cyril Sneer: Because if one breath ever gets out about this, it'll be kicking you off of the 50 yard line at next year's Superbowl! Is that clear?
- Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: [Terrified] Yes, sir!
- Pig One: Your secret's safe with us sir!
- Pig Three: Our lips are sealed!
- Cyril Sneer: So's your fate! Now get this eyesore where no one will ever find it!