The Ray Bradbury Theater (TV Series)

Colonel Stonesteel and the Desperate Empties (1992)

Harold Gould: Colonel Stonesteel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Colonel Stonesteel : Son, you look as if your best friend left and your dog died. What's wrong? School startin' next week, huh?... Halloween not comin' fast enough?

  Charlie : Nothin' ever happens around here.

• Colonel Stonesteel : Face it, Charlie. Greentown, Upper Illinois is the most common, mean, plain old ordinary bore in history. If Napoleon'd been born here, he would've committed harakiri at the age of nine. If Julius Caesar were raised here, he would have run into the Roman Forum aged ten, and stabbed himself.

• Colonel Stonesteel : How old are you, Charlie?

  Charlie : Thirteen. Almost.

  Colonel Stonesteel : Thirteen. Well, things do tend to run down, come thirteen.