- Kryten: The only mechanoids that were ever issued with genitals were the ones created to work on Italian starships. It was thought that could have acclimatised themselves better if they could mimic their Italian crew mates instead of standing around cupping themselves all day.
- Arnold Rimmer: [about to take a swig of the Sexual Magnetism virus] I'm gonna be Colin Charisma at the Captain's supper with this stuff.
- Lister: Don't forget your part of the bargain.
- [Points to his restraint watch]
- Lister: The code for this so I can leg it.
- Arnold Rimmer: It's too soon, I'm not an officer yet.
- Lister: The trail begins tomorrow, man! Without the nanobots our defense has got more holes than my socks!
- Arnold Rimmer: But once you've legged it where does that leave me? I'm not helping you escape and losing all my insider knowledge. I'm not an officer yet.
- Lister: Whoa! We shook hands on a deal!
- Arnold Rimmer: Yeah, but, Lister, you know me. My handshake's less reliable than a plumber's estimate.
- Arnold Rimmer: What is wrong with me? I've got the sexual appetite of a mountain lion. No, worse - a first year nursing student.