- Rimmer: Kryten, open the next one.
- Kryten: Listen, whoever you are, don't push your luck by ordering whoever I am around, because almost certainly, whoever I am, I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna take any crap from whoever you are. So before you start ordering me around, let's establish if I'm the kind of guy who doesn't mind being ordered around or if I'm the kind of guy who gets all uptight about being ordered around by whatever the kind of guy you are.
- Rimmer: All I said was open the next one.
- Rimmer: This is a nightmare! I'm on the run from the Fascist Police with a murderer, a mass murderer and a man in a Bri-Nylon shirt!
- Rimmer: I know that, emotionally speaking, this isn't the news you want to hear right now. But there's a blob on the sonar scope the size of New Mexico and it's heading your way.
- Holly: I think our friend the Suicide Squid is about to put in an appearance.
- Kryten: Where is it, precisely?
- Rimmer: Directly above you. 2,000 fathoms and diving.
- Lister: Oh, thanks a lot, Rimmer. You know the state we're in and you have to go and give us news like that. You couldn't have *lied*?
- Rimmer: I *was* lying. It's only 1,000 fathoms.
- [a giant squid is approaching Starbug]
- Lister: It's got three alternatives - it thinks we're either a threat, food or mate. It's either gonna kill us, eat us or hump us. Either we try to persuade it that we're not *that* kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or we scarper pronto.
- The Cat: And be diddled by a squid on a first date? Think of how I would be in the morning!
- Duane Dibbley: So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth the Druids could use as a place of worship?
- Cop: Halt or I will fire.
- [a young child runs past across the car park]
- Cop: [in pursuit] Move, Voters!
- Jake Bullet: [Grabbing Billy Doyle-Rimmer] Move an inch and I'll crush every bone in your body.
- Cop: You helped an enemy of Democracy escape. She was stealing an apple of the people.
- Jake Bullet: [flashing ID] Bullet. Cybernautics.
- Cop: That's traffic control. Kneel, Voters! You are under sentence of death.
- Lister: I'm not Lister then? I'm not me, am I?
- Kryten: None of us are who we thought we were, sir. This is going to take some getting used to.
- Rimmer: I'm not Rimmer, then?
- Kryten: No.
- Rimmer: I'm not a hologram. I'm not Rimmer.
- The Cat: Well, if we're not who we thought we were, who the hell are we?
- Lister: Some kind of sad acts who want to spend four years playing a computer game. Either running away from God knows what, or had nothing worth living for in the first place.
- Lister: Why would a haddock kill itself?... Why am I even asking that question?
- The Cat: Hold it - hang five guys, I'm gettin' somethin'. Now, he committed suicide, he committed suicide, he committed suicide and the fish committed suicide - there's some kind of link here that I can't quite put my finger on...
- [Lister-Sebastian and Kryten-Jake see two propaganda posters]
- Sebastian Doyle: [reading] "Vote Fascist for a Third Glorious Decade of Total Law Enforcement"?
- Jake Bullet: [reading] "Be a Government Informer. Betray Your Family & Friends. Fabulous Prizes to be Won"?
- Cop: [to Sebastian-Lister] Come out of the shadows, Voter.
- Sebastian Doyle: What's the beef? Did she steal your lunch box?
- Cop: M... mm... many apologies, Voter Colonel.
- Sebastian Doyle: You know me?
- Cop: Of course, Voter Colonel.
- Sebastian Doyle: Who am I?
- Cop: You are Colonel Sebastian Doyle, Section Chief of CGI, Head of the Ministry of Alteration.
- Sebastian Doyle: Remind me a little: what do we do at the Ministry of Alteration?
- Cop: You... change people, Sir.
- Sebastian Doyle: In what way?
- Cop: You change them from being alive people, to being dead people. To purify Democracy.
- Billy Doyle: Purify?
- Cop: [proudly] No one has done more to purge the ballot boxes than the Voter Colonel.
- Duane Dibbley: So why has he been away for 4 years then?
- Cop: Excuse me, Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?
- Sebastian Doyle: Answer him.
- Cop: The rumour was that you had grown weary of your glorious duties and had gone away in secret to renew yourself.
- Engineer: Hang on a minute - are you seriously telling me you were playing the prat version of Rimmer for four years!