Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Duct Soup (1997)

Craig Charles: Lister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kryten : They always say the hardest part about leaving Cyberspace is realizing that the whole universe does not revolve around you.

  Cat : Sure doesn't. It revolves around me!

  Kochanski : Absolutely...

  Cat : No. I'm serious! Look at the evidence!

  Lister : What evidence?

  Cat : Take food: until I bite into it, it has no taste. Even when I know what I'm gonna say, it never bores me!

  Lister : You, and you alone.

  Cat : And here's the kicker, all the interesting things that ever happen to me happened when I was in the room! Coincidence? Get outta here...

• Lister : [in dream sequence]  I think I've reached the age now where I really should be wearing clogs.

• Kochanski : We've got you this leaving present.

  Kryten : A key-ring...

  Lister : With a C on it.

  Kochanski : For Cryten!

  Kryten : But you spell Kryten with a K...

  Kochanski : Oh, don't make a fuss.

• Lister : [to Kryten]  You know what it's like man, it's the fourth law of the universe. You settle down with a woman, and the first thing they do is systematically set about getting rid of all your mates! The Cat's next.

  Kochanski : I've been packing his bag for over three weeks!

• Kochanski : Back on Red Dwarf before the accident I had *loads* of gay friends.

  Lister : Yeah so did I!

  Kochanski : Yeah?

  Lister : Yeah.

  Kochanski : Real friends that you were really close to?

  Lister : Yeah.

  Kochanski : Name one.

  Lister : Okay, what about... Bent Bob?

  Kochanski : [astonished]  Bent.. Bob?

• Lister : Wait a minute... you don't think... now hang on, I'm completely straight, okay? I couldn't possibly be gay. I can't grow a big moustache for starters. Ask anyone, it just grows in little clumps...