Rhoda (TV Series)
Chest Pains (1975)
Nancy Walker: Ida Morgenstern
Photos
Quotes
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[Ida is getting ready to be examined by a doctor]
Dr. Henry Gerber : How old are you?
Ida Morgenstern : Guess.
Dr. Henry Gerber : Do you know how many patients I have waiting for me out there?
Ida Morgenstern : I'll guess that when you guess my age.
Dr. Henry Gerber : 50.
Ida Morgenstern : 7.
Dr. Henry Gerber : You're 57-years-old?
Ida Morgenstern : No. I thought you had 7 patients waiting out there.
[slight pause]
Ida Morgenstern : I'm 52.
Dr. Henry Gerber : Thank you.
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Dr. Henry Gerber : Have you had any social diseases?
Ida Morgenstern : Social diseases? I don't know who brought you up, but I'm a lady, and you're not to use words like that in my presence.
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Dr. Henry Gerber : Do you have any allergies?
Ida Morgenstern : I'm allergic to little bottles.
Dr. Henry Gerber : Then I'll get you a big one.
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Dr. Henry Gerber : Should we go into the examination room?
Ida Morgenstern : Alright, where's the woman who's going to examine me?
Dr. Henry Gerber : I'm going to examine you.
Ida Morgenstern : You? Why?
Dr. Henry Gerber : Why? Why do you think?
Ida Morgenstern : Because I think you get your kicks from seeing a woman my age naked.
Dr. Henry Gerber : Mrs. Morgenstern, I examine naked people all day long. I've been doing it for over 20 years.
Ida Morgenstern : Aw, come on doctor, you mean to say if uh, you don't see an extrordinary body, you don't let that stethoscope linger a little?
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Ida Morgenstern : But you know Grandmother Morgenstern once said something very nice on the subject of old age... She said, "I'm not afraid of death because my life is not such a bargain."