- Gaius Julius Caesar: Make sure the elephants are given their emetics in good time. I don't want my chariot slowed by giant turds.
- [Caesar's soldiers drag a haggard Vercingetorix out of the dungeon and present him to Caesar before the triumph]
- Gaius Julius Caesar: King of all the Gauls.
- Mark Antony: Makes you think, doesn't it?
- Gaius Julius Caesar: It does.
- [he lifts Vercingetorix's head and looks him directly in the face]
- Gaius Julius Caesar: Goodbye, old friend.
- [to the soldiers]
- Gaius Julius Caesar: Do your best to tidy him him up, he looks dead already.
- [Posca helps Vorenus pore over legal documents to help him prepare for the election]
- Lucius Vorenus: Surely this can wait until after the election. There's no point learning all this if I lose.
- Posca: You will not lose.
- Lucius Vorenus: You're very sure of that. There are other candidates.
- [Posca laughs]
- Lucius Vorenus: I believe I warned you about mocking me.
- Posca: Forgive me, sir, I had thought you understood the system. The other candidates are straw men.
- Lucius Vorenus: [displeased] Straw men?
- Posca: It saves a great deal of useless strife if there's no opposition, but it would look ill if Caesar's man was the only one standing.
- [Vorenus gets up from the table]
- Posca: These facts disturb you somehow?
- Lucius Vorenus: The elections are sanctioned by Jupiter Capitolinus. They are sacred.
- Posca: Caesar also is sanctioned by Jupiter, is he not? By augury, by triumph, by acclaim of the people. Anything he does is sacred. In a way, he is a demigod.
- Lucius Vorenus: For one day only. For the rest, he is a mortal man like you and me.
- Posca: Mortal or not, he is trying to save the Republic.
- Lucius Vorenus: By corrupting the elections?
- Posca: The Roman people are not crying out for clean elections. They're crying out for jobs. They're crying out for clean water, for food, for stability and peace. You can do great things for your people. You can help save the Republic.
- [pause]
- Posca: Or you can go back to your shop and resume selling mutton and pig, have dirty hands but a clean conscience.
- [addressing the Senate]
- Gaius Julius Caesar: Many of you here today fought against me. Many of you wished me dead. Many of you perhaps still do. But I hold no grudges, and seek no revenge. I demand only this: that you join with me in building a new Rome, a Rome that offers justice, peace, and land to all its citizens, not just to the privileged few. Support me in this task, and old divisions will be forgotten. Oppose me... and Rome will not forgive you a second time. Senators... the war is over.
- [Brutus comes home to find Quintus and Servilia working on a document]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Might I have a quiet word?
- Servilia of the Junii: Of course.
- [Quintus doesn't move; Brutus gives him a hard look]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: A QUIET word?
- Servilia of the Junii: Oh, you may speak in front of Quintus.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: As you wish, it is of Quintus I speak. The good man has been here several days now. Perhaps he grows weary of entertaining us with his happy presence.
- Servilia of the Junii: Do not mind him, Quintus. He has no manners.
- [to Brutus]
- Servilia of the Junii: He shall stay as long as it pleases me.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Well, that's the thing, Mother. I do not see in what way he could possibly please you. What is his purpose? Does he help you to write poetry?
- Servilia of the Junii: He has a good ear.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Indeed? Hmm.
- [to Quintus]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: You surprise me.
- Servilia of the Junii: He has fire in him. It warms me.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Light more lamps if you are cold! It looks very ill to keep a son of Pompey in our house.
- Servilia of the Junii: [sarcastically] And we should strike such fine figures otherwise!
- [while waiting for Caesar to arrive in the Senate]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Dear me. I've never seen so many long faces.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: It is customary to be sad at a funeral.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Well, the Republic is old and infirm. Death can be a merciful release in such cases.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: You do not mean that. You don't believe that. You of all people shouldn't lay jokes about tyranny.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Oh, I am deadly serious. It is in all our interests to be reconciled with Caesar now, for the good of Rome.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: The good of Rome, indeed. As soon as this... farce is done, I shall retire to the country and wait for the city to come to its senses. It is the only honorable thing to do.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: My dear friend, we have no honor. If we had honor, we would be with Cato and Scipio in the afterlife.
- Titus Pullo: Found you at last, you bastards. I've been through the whole damned army.
- Centurion: The famous Titus Pullo. To what do we owe this honor, citizen? Do you come to wish us luck?
- Titus Pullo: Heh. Listen, uh, I've got most of my kit, but I've lost my crest. Surely someone's got a spare, you think?
- [the centurion hesitates]
- Titus Pullo: It's only a crest. It's not like I lost my sword.
- Centurion: Well, you can't march with us. You've left the legion, haven't you? You signed yourself out.
- Titus Pullo: I know, but... Thirteenth forever, eh?
- Centurion: It's enlisted men only in the triumph. You're a civilian.
- Titus Pullo: Civilian? I'm the hero of the whole mumpin' legion, I am. I saved your skin more than once. Shouldn't have to remind you of that.
- Centurion: If you wanna sign up for a few more years, that's a different story. You can march with us 'til your feet are nubs.
- Titus Pullo: [angrily] Haven't I spilled enough blood for the Thirteenth?
- Centurion: Don't be like that. I don't fucking make the rules, do I? I follow them. It's enlisted men only, don't push it. If you come by after, I'll stand you some drinks, eh?
- Titus Pullo: [scoffs] Stand me some drinks? I've got better things to do than go drinking with the likes of you.
- Centurion: Well, walk on, then, citizen.
- [Pullo doesn't move]
- Centurion: Walk on!
- [Erastes Fulmen finds Pullo drunk and despondent in a tavern]
- Erastes Fulmen: Titus Pullo. You look tired, my friend.
- Titus Pullo: I'm drunk.
- Erastes Fulmen: These are hard times for war veterans.
- Titus Pullo: You're right there.
- Erastes Fulmen: Too many soldiers back in Rome. Not enough work to go round. It's a sad situation. But it's a crime to see a man of your ability unemployed.
- Titus Pullo: I'm doing fine. Plenty of irons in the fire.
- Erastes Fulmen: Well, if your prospects don't work out, you can ask on any street in the Aventine for Erastes Fulmen. I'll always have a job for you.
- Titus Pullo: I'm a soldier, not a murderer.
- Erastes Fulmen: These days, Pullo, is there really any difference?
- [he drops a coin on the counter]
- Erastes Fulmen: Have a drink on me. When you've sobered up, come and see me. We'll talk a little business.
- Newsreader: Tables for five-thousand men will be set up in the capital quorum. Slaves and freed men are not eligible. Those citizens that cannot find a proper seating place must leave when ordered by the civic offices. Gaius Julius Caesar has decreed that in tribute to their virtue, each and every citizen of Rome will be issued from the public treasury the sum of one hundred dinari. Further, twenty thousand deserving families will be given farms on the public lands around Capua. Further, for the coming year, all rents, *all rents* on low dwellings in the city will be paid in full by Gaius Julius Caesar.
- Atia of the Julii: [to Octavia] My poor little grump. Oh, I didn't realize until now how much I missed your gloomy presence around the place.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: You are looking much better.
- Servilia of the Junii: I am not better, however.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Well, I must get you out to the country, perhaps. Some fresh air and sunshine would do you good. This lying abed is not healthy.
- Servilia of the Junii: I rise when I have reason to do so. Don't loiter here pretending to be solicitous. Go to your friend's obscene display.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Mother...
- [he reaches for her]
- Servilia of the Junii: [forcefully] Go!
- [Brutus looks hurt; Servilia raises her gaze and looks at him]
- Servilia of the Junii: [gently] Go.
- [Brutus walks out]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Still here? I thought you were retiring to the country as a point of honor.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: You do right to mock me. You make me feel small.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: A joke, old man, a joke. I'm always happy for your company.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: So, why didn't you tell me beforehand? I could've been of assistance, perhaps.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: What are you talking about?
- [Cicero thrusts a parchment into his hands]
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: Everyone is reading it! I saw some temple prostitutes with a copy.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: [reading] "A Call to Virtue."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: The writing is adequate, which is something we should talk about, but the sentiments are full of grace and bravery.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: "Sons of the Republic, the blood of our forefathers calls you to honor the memory and emulate the deeds of... Porcius Cato, the last true Roman." Who wrote this?
- Marcus Tullius Cicero: You did.
- [he turns the page over and points]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: Gods beneath us.
- Mark Antony: It's absurd, isn't it? Dressing up, playing at being God?
- Gaius Julius Caesar: Playing? I am not playing. This is not a game.