- Dan: [the following evening at the bike shop, after Mike Summers's visit to the Conner home; he walks in the door] Can I help you?
- Mike Summers: Yeah, Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doin'? Yeah, I'm meeting with small businessmen in the area, trying to get a sense of what their conse...
- Roseanne: [Roseanne comes in from the back of the shop and sees him] Hey!
- Mike Summers: Oh hell no!
- [he turns and runs out the front door, with Roseanne hot on his tail]
- Roseanne: Hey! Wait up!
- Arnie Thomas: Knock, Knock.
- Aliens: Who's there?
- Arnie Thomas: Orange.
- Aliens: Orange who?
- Arnie Thomas: Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Can I drive?
- Alien #1: We said No.
- Arnie Thomas: Oh come on, it's not like I'm gonna hit nothing.
- Alien #2: If you don't stop this behavior, we're gonna have to separate you again.
- Arnie Thomas: You know what I could go for? Some companionship
- [calling out]
- Arnie Thomas: hey you! Did you used to be a chick?
- [runs out]
- Alien #2: Does he know he's to be a pet for your son?
- Alien #1: Yes, he's fine with it.
- [they smile]
- Mike Summers: Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How'ya doin'?
- Roseanne: Great.
- Mike Summers: Good, I'm going door-to-door, trying to get to know my constituents.
- Roseanne: Oh, door-to-door, huh. That takes a lot of time. Why don'tcha just go down to the unemployment office, and see everybody all at once.
- Mike Summers: We can't let this area's work-force lay idle. That's why bringing in new business is my number-one priority.
- Roseanne: How?
- Mike Summers: Through tax incentives. See, we're gonna make it cheaper for out-of-state businesses to set up shop right here in Lanford.
- Roseanne: So they get a tax break?
- Mike Summers: Yeah, that's why they come here.
- Roseanne: Well, who's gonna pay the taxes that they ain't paying?
- Mike Summers: Well, you... you will. But you'll be working... good, steady employment.
- Roseanne: Union wages?
- Mike Summers: Well, now, part of the reason these companies are finding it so expensive to operate in other locations is...
- Roseanne: [Roseanne cuts him off] Soooo, they're gonna dump the union, so they can come here and hire us at scab wages, and then for *that* privilege... we get to pay their taxes?
- Mike Summers: [pause] Is your husband home?
- Roseanne: [to Mike Summers] My son is gonna have to wear my daughters hand me downs, for real this time, not just for fun.
- Roseanne: [Dan finishes reading a note from DJ's school] Maybe there's a page missing.
- Dan: He's in the Regionals, that's the whole note
- [checks the other side]
- Dan: no-one was hurt.
- Roseanne: DJ I always knew you had some special hidden talent, now you can spell, you can spell.
- Darlene: That's where the big money is
- [she stands up and gets her bag]
- D.J. Conner: You're just jealous.
- Darlene: You're right, I wanted to be Rain Man.
- Nancy Bartlett: [about Arnie] Jackie what would you do?
- Jackie Harris: Why are you asking me?
- Nancy Bartlett: Well you had a relationship with him.
- Jackie Harris: [repulsed] Nancy... I'm eating.
- Roseanne: [reading a note] Dear Nancy, I know this is hard for you to understand but I have been kidnapped by
- [to Nancy]
- Roseanne: what's that word?
- Nancy Bartlett: Aliens... from outer space.
- Nancy Bartlett: He could've faced me but instead he left me some stupid note about space creatures sent to take back intelligent life.
- Roseanne: Man, are their bosses gonna be ticked.
- Dan: [reading a note] Who are the Allen's and why are they out of spice?
- Roseanne: Aliens Dan, from outer space.
- Dan: Oh,that makes a little more sense.
- Nancy Bartlett: Did he say anything? Is there another woman?
- Dan: No offense Nancy but it's a miracle there's one.
- Becky Conner: [mad that she doesn't have a college fund] I'm not going to D.J.'s stupid spelling bee.
- Roseanne: Oh yes you are, he's gone to plenty of your stupid stuff, so you can go to his. Go get ready.