Roseanne (TV Series)

Daughters and Other Strangers (1993)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• D.J. : [returning from a party]  I'm home!

  Dan : [on the couch with Roseanne]  Hey, Deej, come here and tell us all about the party.

  D.J. : Thanks for making me go. It was great.

  Roseanne : Yeah? Come here and sit down. Tell us about all the kind of games and fun things you guys did.

  D.J. : [sitting down between them on the couch]  I touched a boob.

  [stunned silence] 

  Dan : Say what?

  D.J. : We played this game, Seven Minutes in Heaven. And I had to go in the closet with Sheila Frye. And we just stood there doing nothing for, like, six minutes.

  Dan : What happened in that last minute, son?

  D.J. : I told you. I touched a boob. She's my girlfriend now. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow night. She likes corn.

  [goes upstairs] 

  Dan : [Roseanne covers her face with her hands, country accent]  Wheeeeewwww doggies, I'm gonna have to have a long talk with that boy.

• Dan : You're acting like a crazed psychopath.

  Roseanne : [snorts]  Well the voices in my head disagree.

• Dan : [on getting married]  I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.

  Roseanne : No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing *you* ever did, but we're talking about *me* now!